This month I want to honor a woman who has done an amazing job of healing her mind, body, and spirit. I first did a reading for Holly in January of this year. Diagnosed with a gynecological cancer last fall, she had a course of chemo and radiation that resulted in such severe side effects, she had to be hospitalized for two weeks extremely ill and in great pain. Her physician, a conservative and concerned practitioner, remained troubled that her healing was slower than he had hoped for and remained guarded in his assessments.
Her Reading revealed several predisposing factors in her illness: she had suffered greatly as a child and had been deeply wounded by those who were supposed to love and protect her; they had been vicious in their criticism and judgments of her. These judgments formed a strong belief that she was not worthwhile of love, tenderness, or affection. The constant barrage of negativity also taught her she could never be forgiven for her mistakes, and deserved frequent punishment for her transgressions. This knowledge created a painful pattern of self-judgment, criticism, and personal sabotage.
Holly’s limiting beliefs also created angst in her second chakra, specifically around issues concerned with sexuality. She continually carried sexual guilt from her past that was creating an unhealthy environment for her once healthy cells. She believed her illness was brought on because she had done something to deserve it, and cancer just happened to be her punishment.
I explained to her that it was not her time to die and she could turn her situation completely around and heal. She was hesitant, nervous, and unsure if she could actually heal, and worse, did not believe she deserved to heal. Now what is important about Holly’s story is that when I Read her, she was still recovering from the brutal round of chemo that had nearly killed her, and then was faced with her shadow from her Reading. By far, hers was not an easy situation. Yet, she chose to create an alternate reality than the one so strongly wrapped around her, by being open to possibilities she had never even considered. This was her shining moment that opened her to healing.
Her Priority Tasks were straightforward, but required great heart to do them. She had to change her cellular memory around deserving punishment for her past. Eagerly, she applied the essential techniques and followed her healing prescription. She also had to rewrite some limiting tribal beliefs about her worthiness, and make a crucial decision: Was she willing to change her inherited belief that she did not deserve love and kindness, but rather punishment? One way she used to punish herself was by refusing help from others. She never allowed others to do nice things for her; as she told me, “I fend them off, feigning independence.” Yet, in her blueprint I saw that she craved the very love that she so adroitly rejected and feared.
She consciously chose to act in a different way from her old hurtful pattern of refusing help and pushing others away. She deliberately asked for and welcomed offers of love and nurturance, even though at first, it felt terribly uncomfortable and unlike her.
Next I talked to her about her sexual guilt. She believed that God would forgive others of sexual indiscretions, but not her. She also feared reprisal on “a human level.” She believed in karma and felt at a deep level that her illness was a just punishment for wrongs committed. I saw that what she was actually doing was giving her power away, something any of us does when we give someone else’s judgment about us more weight than our own. I helped her rewrite some of the limiting tribal beliefs that were holding her in a kind of purgatory, a chronic feeling of not deserving to be happy and healthy. I asked her to pray to God for help to dissolve her pride, forgive herself, to accept the truth, and to accept the forgiveness afforded to others for herself. The prayer went like this: Dear God, I need some help. I surrender to your voice of truth that speaks to me through my spirit and intuition, and ask for courage to be open to new possibilities, including forgiveness.
Next we talked about her mom, a deeply narcissistic woman whose “I’m the bride” energy was all over Holly’s blueprint. I asked her why she continued to engage with her mother and accept such punishment. She had only minimum contact with her mom, not because she wanted to, but out of consideration for her father who “wants us to at least be polite to her to honor her, not as a person, but because she’s our mom.” (Does this ring any tribal bells out there?)
I asked Holly to do something I frequently do in my Readings when I see that someone is in an unconscious conflict that is causing an energy drain. I asked her to go deep inside and speak to her spirit and ask herself if she wanted to spend any time around her mom. The answer? “Hell no, she’s not good for me.” This realization brought her a laugh, quickly followed by a sense of guilt. I explained to her that this was a tug of war between being loyal to an unhealthy tribal belief or loyal to her spirit. Her spirit knew the deep toxicity of her mom, but her tribal belief said: “because we share the same bloodline, I must sit quietly and allow you to spew toxicity in my direction.” (This tribal, or one of its variations is usually the culprit when you find yourself accepting behavior from family members that you wouldn’t dream of accepting from a friend).
I asked her if being around poison would be good for someone in the throes of healing cancer. She understood immediately. At first, she chose to avoid the attacks from her narcissistic mother to focus on her healing. Eventually, she stayed away because she found how good it felt not to be ground down by all that severe negativity.
Next, I asked Holly to have a deep and honest talk with her husband. I saw that clearing the air between them would do wonders for her. I gave her some specific things to talk about and knew it would lead to a deep healing for her and him.
Talk about someone willing to do the work! Holly got right to work and over the next few months, accomplished all of her Priority Tasks. She worked a few sessions with Rebecca for added support and then returned for a follow up Reading.
There was one last piece for her to do. It was time to go further and heal her self-esteem. She was to gather a circle of her husband, her sister, and a couple of close friends and ask them directly what they loved about her and to soak in their compliments. Talk about wanting to squirm in her seat. Now folks, when someone is healing from wounds to the third chakra, the seat of our self-esteem, this takes great courage to hear how wonderful you are.
She reported an amazing experience and was deeply grateful for the assignment. She felt renewed and I saw that the cells had responded fully to the major shift in her energy. I saw that she no longer carried the pre-disposition for illness; there was nothing in her that would create anything less than fully healthy cells. She needed to lock in her new cellular memory and her healing would be complete.
A short time later, a visit to her surgeon left her a little frightened when he expressed concern over an area that was not healing as fully or as quickly as he had hoped. it would. Holly made a huge decision that morning. She focused on her continued healing, not her fear. She chose to ask God for comfort rather that play out her old thoughts of not deserving to be healed. She chose to accept the new possibility of healing rather than the present reality of cancer or defeat.
Her most recent report comes from one amazed surgeon who said to her “whatever it is you’re doing, keep it up, it’s working, and you are healed.” In fact, he wants to wait several more months before seeing her again.
I share Holly’s story with you because I applaud her tenacious and courageous spirit. She was willing to do the work, even when she wasn’t feeling well. She learned to see herself differently, re-write old beliefs that pre-disposed her to illness and traded punishment for forgiveness and love. Were some of her Priority Tasks difficult, unusual, scary, unfamiliar, and at times uncomfortable? Yes. Absolutely. Were they impossible? No, because they are never outside of your ability or reach. Your Priority Task is given to me by your spirit who knows what you are capable of and will never lead you astray. It’s that trust that began Holly’s healing.
I thank her for her generosity of spirit and giving us permission to share her story with you. In her own words, Holly said, “I want to give hope to people, and let them know they can come back from really bad circumstances.”
Kudos, Holly. You are a courageous inspiration!
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