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I'd like to share a situation I have encountered that has happened so many times before. A woman called for a Reading because she had breast cancer. As you know, there is always a Priority Task that is revealed during a Reading that will change a person's life, or the outcome of a physical, emotional or spiritual illness. Her Priority Task was to make a decision about living or dying---to decide if there was any reason for her staying on the planet, other than caring for her family. She was standing at a major cross road and most of her wanted to leave. I made it quite clear that her soul would overrule any healer, chemotherapy or the best remedy in town---if she did not want to live, no healing would occur.

Choosing the first road meant she would die fairly soon; taking the other road gave her more choices. She assured me that she wanted to live, and I explained that in order to heal, she needed to have 90-95% of her energy focused on herself and her healing. She could do no caretaking of others---only herself. [Remember that part of the energetic profile of a breast cancer patient is the overwhelming need to keep the family together at all costs---be it by not making waves, helping others, smoothing out disagreements; she wanted to live to care for her family, not for herself].

She informed me that she was in couple's therapy with her husband to improve their relationship---apparently the relationship was quite an energetic drain on her. She had mentioned to her therapist and that she was considering stopping therapy. Her therapist responded by quoting a well-known "relationship expert" who said it was extremely important to have the support of her husband during her healing; therefore, the therapist said she should continue therapy.

My client "knew" it would take too much work for her husband to become supportive—therapy was very draining with very little results. Her cancer blueprint, however, insisted she "hold the family together" by trying to fix her relationship and was overruling her intuition. [She later decided to discontinue couples therapy].

This is a classic example of an energetic conflict where a tribal belief conflicts with your truth. While the information about support is correct---it is a good thing and it can help significantly, it had to be weighed against her intuition. In her situation, trying to fix her relationship would be an investment of energy with little or no return.

Your soul knows everything you need to know. It's time to open up to your intuition and listen to that little voice inside of you. That little nagging feeling is the sign of a conflict within you that is rooted in a tribal belief. Practice listening to your intuition. Pray for courage to trust the information.

When that little voice inside of you clamors to be heard, please...listen to it.

May your healing experience be gentle.

This month our question comes from John, ML

Q: Can you explain the victim archetype and how to deal with a friend who is a victim?
(John, ML)

Christel: Someone with a dominant victim archetype may be dramatic as in "poor me, look at what other's have done to me," or the subtle: as in "what's the use, things never change, I'll never get out of this financial mess." Victims will on some level let you know they are suffering or struggling, and try to convince you that none of their suffering is their fault---it's the husband, the boss, the world, the kids, the friends who are to blame. You will know even the quietest of victims because their vibration is so low, that it is difficult to be around them.

Additionally, no matter what you do for them, how much you help them, how much you give them, it is never, ever enough, and eventually they will turn on you and blame you for some of their woes. Your best bet is to disengage from them during their complaining and pray for them. You can't ever fill a victim's cup and you'll be worn out trying.

Rebecca: To me, sometimes the victim energy is initially somewhat subtle. It's very often not dramatic; most of us can spot that kind and tend to be repelled by it. But I have found many times people look like they're really trying hard to be spiritually aware, to take responsibility, but after awhile, you notice they never get there and that no matter what you say or give to them, it never makes a true difference over time; the patterns persist.

I knew a woman once who went through a nasty divorce and her ex really wasn't very nice to her or their children. She got a lot of help and advice about what to do, but it seemed that no matter what, she was constantly being broadsided by his latest attack. It wasn't until several years of this that I realized she had no intention of being free of him, it was such a great reinforcer of the pride she took in her struggle to protect her kids and herself. I realized this when one day I suggested a very simple thing she could do to keep her power and she said she had never thought of it. I know for a fact she had been told the very same thing by several other people and in that moment, I knew she had no intention of really putting it into action, or if she did try it, she wouldn't put her energy behind it, so it would be destined to fail. She had a tremendous sense of identity from constantly overcoming her situation and being a good mom through her constant vigilance of protecting her kids. She was invested, and in that moment, I no longer was. I realized I had been duped by the hard working, therapy seeking, devoted to my personal growth illusion that she portrayed.